A painting at the edge of the universe _{by Madelaine Empson}

Fiordland (Summer 2023)

On a Friday morning, my friend Toula and I flew down south for a weekend in Fiordland. Neither of us had been to this mystical pocket of New Zealand before, and what better way to explore it than on an overnight cruise of Doubtful Sound/Patea, nestled deep in the heart of Fiordland National Park?

After picking up our nifty Toyota Corolla from the ever-reliable Apex Rentals at Queenstown Airport, we jumped in the car and set off for our base: the picturesque lakeside town of Te Anau. Complete with tunes, snacks, and chats, the drive felt like the kind of classic Kiwi road trip you take to call in summer. Winding through green and golden-brown stretches of South Island countryside, counting cows along the way, we pulled into Te Anau for lunch at Sandfly Café.

Sandfly’s tagline ‘lazy tunes and mountain views’ rings true. This homely local joint boasts friendly staff, an affordable but extensive menu, and decent portions of great food. I demolished an artisanal steak sandwich before spotting a wine list laced with local drops. I ordered the Peregrine pinot noir rosé from Queenstown and savoured each sip, effervescent with notes of wildflower and cherry blossom. Of course, I only had a lunchtime tipple so I could write about the wine for you later. What can I say, I’m very dedicated to my job.

After the satisfying stop at Sandfly, it was time to check into our accommodation: Lakefront Lodge Te Anau. Holy moly. Our one-bedroom unit was immaculate in every sense of the word, well equipped with a tidy bathroom (and spa bath!), handy kitchenette, decked-out lounge, and pristine courtyard overlooking the glistening Lake Te Anau. Our amazing hosts Dianne and David saw to our every need and even foresaw ones we didn’t know we had. I couldn’t recommend Lakefront Lodge highly enough, and bonus: it’s located within walking distance of everything you’ll need in town.

This meant that as the sun set, Toula and I were able to wander to a lively bar – Redcliff Café – to settle in for a night of eats and beats. Julian Temple Band was in the house, and so, it seemed, were all the locals! Redcliff is clearly the place to be for live music in Te Anau, and we vibed alongside the Ōtepoti alt-rockers as they celebrated their seventh studio album Tunnels.

The next morning, after a restful sleep on the comfiest beds, it was off to Manapouri Wharf, our first port of call before the overnight cruise with skipper Dave and chef Arturo from Fiordland Expeditions. It’s a hop, skip, and a jump from Manapouri to Doubtful Sound – or a ferry and a bus ride, if you will – but thankfully, the cruise included all transfers in and out. The first leg was a skim across Lake Manapouri on a boat “so old, the engines signal to me in Morse that they’re running”. So said skipper Stewart! In actual fact, we had a great time aboard the sleek RealNZ vessel with some of her crew, who shared interesting insights into the Manapouri Power Station before they dropped us at West Arm. From there, the Fiordland Expeditions team took over. And so, we were stuck with Dave for at least the next 24 hours…

Dave has a killer sense of humour and (hopefully) would’ve loved reading that, but for those of you who don’t know him, I should clarify: he’s awesome! Cheeky, charming, and down to Earth. Authentic is the best way I could describe Dave and every minute of our time with Fiordland Expeditions exploring Doubtful Sound, which I reckon should be labelled the eighth wonder of the world.

But I’m getting ahead of myself… we’ve got to get there first! From West Arm, Dave expertly navigated the twists and turns, tips and tumbles of Wilmot Pass Road in a Hobbiton bus with our group in tow: Toula and I, and a lovely couple from Tasmania, whom we’d share many a story and chuckle with in the hours to come. The bus ride was punctuated by Dave’s informative, yet hilarious commentary. We learned all about the local fauna and flora, including some very famous trees that live on the alpine pass. Like the Ents from The Lord of the Rings, which Dave is “not allowed to look for anymore” because he’s “crashed three vans up here” in pursuit of them so far.

One of my favourite of Dave’s jokes, but there were plenty more gems. If they can count a millimetre of rain as a rain-day, then one iota of sunshine, even the meekest sunbeam, must have the same bearing. So even though Fiordland sees about seven metres of rain per year, “Welcome to the sunniest part of New Zealand”, Dave laughed.

We didn’t mind getting a bit soggy because the rain is a spectacular feature of Fiordland National Park. With it comes lush, verdant greenery stretching as far as the eye can see and more waterfalls than you could possibly imagine. Dave pointed out Cleve Garth Falls, the only permanent waterfall on that side of the pass. The rest of the thunderous tears we watched cascading down the mountainside into the crystalline waters below? Temporary, breathtaking fixtures.

Parking the bus at Deep Cove, it was time to board Tutoko II and venture into Doubtful Sound. We were delighted to find a cosy, private cabin with ensuite waiting for us, where we stowed our bags before settling down in the communal viewing lounge with fully equipped kitchen. Here, Arturo started prepping feast (after feast after feast) for us. Within half an hour, we were served a lovely platter of fruit and treats dusted in icing sugar. Another couple of hours later, the table was laden with a decadent charcuterie board. I think I ate my body weight in cheese, all in the name of travel journalism.

In between, our group went fishing for our dinner while I ‘took photos’ (read: chickened out). If you’re into fishing, you could hardly find a more incredible place for it. It felt like we were the only people in the world – a sentiment that would give me butterflies when we went kayaking later that afternoon. I don’t think I’ve ever known peace like that before, taking it all in from my little kayak: the mist unfurling over 360 degrees of mountaintops, a gentle rain caressing my cheek, the silence golden, deep, infiltrated only by tinkling trills of birdsong.

For dinner, Arturo whipped up not one, not two, but four courses. The heroes? The crayfish (course two) and fish (course three) from earlier. It’s true that I went squealing instead of fishing, but it was still special to have something we’d caught ourselves prepared so expertly, presented so exquisitely, and lovingly placed, swimming in butter and lemon, before us. Jean buttons undone and bellies full of cheer, our group stayed up late chatting and toasting before turning in for a blissed-out sleep on a boat berthed at what felt like the edge of the universe.

I can’t describe what it was like to wake up in Doubtful Sound, but it was more like a dream than real life. Time stood still as I curled up on the top deck in my pyjamas, gulping down the glacial air and sipping steaming coffee before the aromas of Arturo’s cooking enticed me back downstairs. True to theme, he made us three breakfasts apiece – a continental spread, a cooked plate with extra-special crayfish scrambled eggs, and then, would you believe, pancakes. Arturo would’ve done Merry and Pippin proud, serving us second breakfast and elevenses.

The second day took us to my favourite spot yet: Crooked Arm, where a rare appearance from the sun cast our stunning surrounds in the kind of hazy glow any photographer would kill to capture. Making a friend along the way (a plump seal mastering the art of the roly-poly through looking-glass waters), this is where Toula got the money shot, pictured here as the last in the series. I still can’t believe it’s not a painting, which I think perfectly sums up the scenery around every corner, in every cove, atop every precipice, and freckling every arm of Doubtful Sound.

I feel beyond blessed to have seen it all with Fiordland Expeditions. The experience was second to none and one I will never forget.

But it wouldn’t be our last adventure, with one more activity booked on the mainland: another boat ride! We were headed to the western shores of Lake Te Anau to explore the glowworm caves on a guided tour with RealNZ. It was time to enter another world, to descend into the abyss of the Aurora Cave System. Young by geological standards at just 12,000 years old, our wicked guide Maria praised the cave for growing its first tiny wee stalactite. As we gathered beneath it, peering up at its resolute progress, I felt proud too. Go, baby, go!

Deep underground, we climbed aboard another vessel, this one much smaller than the last. In our small group of 12, we lay back to gaze up at a twinkling canopy of stars. Glowworms, of course, which we learned loads about in a pre-tour presentation and over a cup of Joe afterwards. Floating through the pitch-black void, the roar of the nearby waterfall beating on my eardrums, the sparkle of glowworms in my eyes, I felt tiny, awed, and so lucky to call New Zealand, where experiences like this exist, home.

Once we got back to Lakefront Lodge Te Anau, it was time to wind down, chill out, and warm up. For me, that meant a long, luxurious spa bath! What a perfect end to the perfect weekend in such a staggeringly beautiful place. If you’ve never been to Fiordland before, please, go.